JUST SAY UNCLE

When I was a little boy I had a whole lot of Uncles. As I got older I learned that a lot of them were fakes. I grew up calling these people Uncle because, from the time I was a teeny tiny tot, that is what they were referred to as around me. It was much later when I started to realize that some of these men were really just friends of the family. To make matters more confusing there was also a slew of uncles that were actually just older relatives like great-uncles (granduncles) and multi-removed cousins. Some I still have no idea how I am actually related to them.

One of my Mom’s favorite family stories is about Uncle Moe. In his latter years his memory was pretty much gone and he spent the bulk of the day napping on the day bed off the front porch. Whenever company came his wife, Aunt Selma, would dutifully call him to the table to sit with everyone. One afternoon my Mom was at the table and Aunt Selma called Moe in for coffee. As he shuffled by he looked at my Mother and matter of factly said “ I don’t know who you are but you gained weight.” It is a cute, funny family story except when I tell it I have a hard time explaining just exactly who Uncle Moe is because I have no clue how he is actually related to me. The only thing I am sure of is that he is not really my Uncle.

I eventually learned that very few of these faux Uncles were blood relatives. When I was growing up the only living siblings that both my parents had was a sister each. Their husbands are my only real Uncles. My Mom’s sister’s husband, Lester, was one of my very few ‘real’ Uncles. I only had one problem with him; as a little kid I was sure he hated my guts.

OK, I later learned my Uncle Lester was really a very loving man that liked me a lot but as a child I did not understand his sharp wit. My four siblings and I would pile into his house for some family gathering and he would look at me and say ‘your not invited’ while closing the door on me. I eventually would figure out some other way into the house and he would bark ‘how did you get in here.’ This would go on for hours. For a time I was sure he despised me. Of course now I look back and could easily see myself playing the same ongoing prank on some pesty nephew of mine.

I recall finally understanding my Uncle Lester’s sense of humor after the umpteenth time of my Mom explaining that if he did not like me he would not waste his time teasing me. I did not know anyone else like him so it makes sense that I would not ‘get it’ right away. As a kid I might have seen him as a cantankerous man but as I got older I started to really enjoy his biting humor and strong personality. Come on, as a young man how could I not love a grown man whose two favorite foods were burgers and peanut butter. Not only did he eat those foods constantly, he also made a huge deal about never eating anything green.

A few hours ago I found out that Uncle Lester passed away this morning. I do not think I ever told him how much I liked him. In today’s world of mushy mamby pamby people that spend all their time trying to impress the Joneses or worrying about how others will perceive them, a true character like my Uncle Lester stands out way above the rest. Individuals like him just do not seem to come along anymore. I am glad he was my real uncle; I will miss him.